Behind the ultra-kinky Christian movement that tells husbands to spank their naughty wives

Behind the ultra-kinky Christian movement that tells husbands to spank their naughty wives

SexNovember 26, 2014

Spanking has been a much-anticipated staple of every leather-bound BDSM daydream we've had, but now, a new movement called Christian Domestic Discipline is appropriating it for its own, crazy-sexy-kinky use. Problem is, the way it's being used skirts the very blurry line between fetish, misogyny, and domestic abuse, probably due to the fact that it's based around "allowing husbands to keep their wives 'in line' by taking to corporal punishment."

Much of what is known about CDD is from the website Learning Domestic Discipline, and was written by husband and wife duo Clint and Chelsea, aka the A-List celebrities of Jesus-flavored spousal spanking.

As they state on the website, CDD is "an arrangement between two adults who share the belief that the husband is the head of the household and with that position comes the right to enforce his authority." Essentially, the practice is described as a consensual disciplinary measure that's necessary to "maintain a healthy relationship dynamic."

However, there's much more to spanking than you'd thing. Clint and Chelsea talk about all aspects of spanking such as that "awkward" first spanking, what position the wife should be in, the pros and cons of spanking over or under clothing, and our personal favorite, wives who ask their mother-in-laws for spankings. The list goes on.

BUt CDD advocates other punitive measures, too. For example, husbands can remove their wife's privileges, put them in corners, send them to their rooms, and lecture them, which, you'll notice if you've ever had the experience of being reared from child to adult, is how most parents handle misbehaving toddlers.

However, spanking is the clear winner in the "how to punish your wife" contest.  Eighteen pages of the CDD manifesto are dedicated helping you navigate the ins and outs of butt smackin'.

Some CDD sanctioned spanking tools you can use to get the job done include, but are not limited to ...

Spoons!

Hairbrushes!

Belt!

Paddle!

Cane!

Switch!

And your own red right hand!

However, if you're "looking for quiet spanking methods," Clint and Chelsea definitely recommend a wooden spoon.

Well ... wow.

You're smart. You can see what's wrong with this picture.

Regardless of the lighthearted presentation of its dogma, the practice of CDD, although consensual, places women in a submissive role in which it in which domestic violence against them is excused as a way to make them "behave" to their husband's liking. Placing them in that role is not only misogynistic, but also places them on the same level as unruly children or livestock, sending the message that women are lesser beings who must be kept in line.

... At least that's what you, or we, would think. Bizarrely, that's not always the case.

In fact, most women who are in CDD relationships can't stop gushing about it.

When XOJane writer Laura Rubino decided to investigate the potential for domestic abuse during CDD, she was surprised when didn't find nearly as many instances of spanking-gone-wrong as she had expected to.

"Most of the women who write about their CDD experiences online are not complaining," she said. "Many of them report feeling extremely calm and relaxed after being disciplined, and believe it is an expression of their husband caring about them and their marriage, enough to help them modify their behavior,’ said Rubino.

She also found that many women say the spanking offers them a clean slate, and freedom from passive aggressive tension after a fight. In fact, Clint and Chelsea's site is filled with rave reviews of CDD from women who felt spanking and other such measures were a positive way to resolve marital issues.

That's not to say the spankings and lecturing and time outs can't turn violent though.  Although Clint and Chelsea say in their package that husbands should never punish their wives while they're angry, and that CDD should always be consensual, the situation, as you can imagine, occasionally goes awry.

"I wanted the spankings to stop and my husband told me it was either DD and marriage or divorce. I chose divorce. I couldn't handle the pain of spankings anymore, emotionally or physically," a woman named Michelle wrote on a CDD blog.

And despite the overt and glorious potential for sexual fetishism CDD presents, most enthusiasts insist this type of punishment isn't sexual. They fully rejecting the notion that a wife slowly leaning over her husbands knees while he pulls up her skirt, exposing her bare ass, could be construed as ... sorry ... what were we saying? We need to change our panties ... Um.

"A lot of folks think Fifty Shades of Gray, but it's not that," said CDD purist Vera in an interview with the Daily Beast. "The pure CDD people don't go there." So, much to our chagrin and yours, you can deflate your boner now.

But, even if it was sexual, who's to say that's a bad thing? Approaching martial conflict with kink can be a great way to work shit out. The rules and necessary communication involved in kink, as well as the inherent physical or emotional vulnerability of one or both parties, can be cathartic and soothing when tensions arise.

And on that note, while we do not under any circumstances, advocate CDD or any sort of domestic abuse, but there is something to be said for couples that have an agreed-upon conflict resolution strategy that they utilize when they need it. Instead of fighting aimlessly and escalating conflict, consensual CDD allows a framework for conflict resolution that both parties believe in and see as helpful. For the couples who engage in CDD, it's a few mutually-agreed upon swats to the bum with a wooden spoon, and bam -- the issue is over and both parties can move on.

So, although we're definitely skeptical at the position CDD puts women in, and we'd be lying to say we weren't disappointed that the eroticism of the situation is lost on its practitioners, this seems like one of those situations where you have to take your own values out of the picture and let Christian spanking enthusiasts do their Christian spanking thing. If it's consensual and helpful for them, it's not for you or us to judge.

However, if anyone knows anywhere where we can be sexually spanked for our misbehavior, please call us, at anytime of day or night. We'll be waiting.