Female pick-up artists teach the art of seduction
“These men aren’t just having a dry spell. Their whole life is a dry spell,” says Marni Kinrys, female seduction coach and founder of The Wing Girl Method.
“Lots of people probably tell these men, ‘Just be natural!’ But being natural has never gotten them anywhere,” says Kezia Noble, attraction and dating coach and author of the best-selling book “The Noble Art Of Seducing Women.”
Marni Kinrys and Kezia Noble are female pick-up artists. They teach men how to pick up ladies. They’re also major leaders in the seduction community — an international movement of men practicing strategies for sexual success with women.
In a pick-up industry dominated by men, Kinrys and Noble are two of the few dating coaches capable of applying a woman’s perspective. And after only a few hours on the phone with these ladies, seduction suddenly seems like a skill capable of perfecting.
To them, it makes no difference whether clients want relationships or one-night-stands. “My job is to help men build attraction,” Kezia explains. “What they do with it after is up to them.” Or, as Marni phrases it, “Whether you want to marry a girl or just screw her in the bathroom, I can help.”
Although their methods differ drastically, Marni and Kezia’s fundamental lesson is the same: The most important step is actually approaching women. However, the social dynamics of behavior, body language, and carrying a conversation are where things can get more complicated.
The pick-up artists insist that successfully approaching women requires two essential components — “inner game” and “outer game.” Inner game focuses on overcoming social anxiety with self-confidence.
“A lot of men go wrong because they show nerves,” Kezia says. “Sure, it’s cute if a girl is nervous or shy, but a guy won’t come across as nervous, he’ll come across as creepy.” She continues, “They think if they approach a woman and appear nervous, they’ll get her number out of pity. That’s never happened.”
In the seduction community, conventional wisdom holds that even when men can hide their self-consciousness, women can still detect it at a sub-communicative level. Attracting ladies with “inner game” requires authentic self-assurance. “If you want a ten, you have to act like a ten,” Marni explains.
[Marni taking men out for practice]
Outer game, on the other hand, focuses on more visible elements, like body language and behavior. Both Marni and Kezia maintain that one of the most important parts of outer game is acting detached.
“The best way to not come across too needy is to use a technique called ‘push and pull,’” Marni explains. “I’m giving you everything and pulling you in, but as soon as we’re really connecting, I’m pushing you away.” It’s not meant to position you as a standoffish asshole, she clarifies, but to negate the needy “nice guy” persona — the poor schmuck who sticks around until the conversation gets stale.
“Always show the girl that you don’t need her,” Kezia says. “Show her that you’ve got one foot out the door.” This is important, she insists, because acting too eager or putting her pussy on a pedestal will never win her attraction.
A tried and true “outer game” strategy is a false time constraint. When approaching a woman, offer some excuse why the conversation could end at any moment, like “I have to get back to my friends in a minute, but…” This lowers her natural defenses, because even if she doesn’t like you, she knows you’ll be gone soon. It also indicates that you’re not some weird loner. Best of all, it allows you to push her away at the perfect moment (if it strikes).
[Kezia leads a seduction boot camp]
Of course, there are countless more techniques to approaching women with practiced inner game and outer game. Openers allow you to start an interesting conversation. Negs can provide some playful teasing. Indicators of interest might take the conversation from platonic to romantic.
“In the beginning, the seduction community was very underground,” Kezia says. Essentially, it was little more than the secret meetings of desperate nerds, dweebs, and 40-year-old virgins — the blind leading the blind. But once the community came to the surface and coaches like Marni and Kezia could offer female insight, the industry flourished. “We’ve created a multi-million dollar business,” Kezia says.
More importantly, they’ve gotten men laid millions more times — a public service beyond compare.