I tried Foria, the female orgasm enhancing weed lube
Let me preface this by saying I have a legit sex life. My boyfriend is pretty cool in bed, and I can orgasm vaginally from intercourse, which, in lady land, is like the equivalent of being able to juggle flaming hatchets while reciting the alphabet backwards. Go me! But that doesn't mean that I'm complacent about shit. I'm always looking for ways to make sex better, so when I heard about Foria, a THC-infused weed lube that was supposedly changing the lives of orgasm-starved women, I obviously had to rub it all over my genitals and write about it.
But before we get there, let me tell you what the shit a Foria is first.
Foria is coconut oil-based personal lube, and each spray of it contains approximately 2 milligrams of THC. And, when THC and your vagina hang out, a few good things happen. First, it brings a surge of blood and endorphins to your nether region, which bodes well for orgasmic possibility. Second ... well, we'll let their website do the talking:
As an all-natural plant-based medicinal, Foria works with your body to facilitate unique wellness experiences. For some women, it may awaken arousal and heighten sensation making orgasms more intense, fuller, or easier to access. For others, it can help promote natural lubrication, reduce pain and tension, and create the relaxation necessary for sensual experience, or restorative rest.
That de-stressing ability is what makes the idea of weed lube so compelling. "Women report a sense of embodiment, a sense of dropping into a more full relationship to sexual sensations, and sensations around the body. As you can imagine, as that builds up to orgasm, if orgasm is a part of your experience, then that can lead to intensification and a more full body experience," Foria founder Matthew Gerson says. That does seem in line with what we know about marijuana's interaction with sexuality.
And while marijuana has been used as an aphrodisiac since forever, the people at Foria are the first to market their weed lube as a prescription for the female libido. Currently, there are 24 FDA-approved treatments for male sexual dysfunction, but none for women save for a few sketchy creams and "vitamins" next to the "Grow Your Dong" pills at gas stations and your friendly neighborhood Pleasures. So, needless to say, Foria's entrance into the female arousal arena is more than welcome for the millions of women who struggle with libido and orgasm problems.
Speaking of those women, here are some whose sex lives have been changed by Foria:
Okay, so now that you've gotten a sense of what Foria is and the extremely giddy reaction of women to this product, I'm sure you can see why I went out and bought some for my own personal vagina.
I tried Foria three times; twice alone and once with my boyfriend.
The first time, I was flying solo. I had just seen a picture of Bill Murray wearing a sailor beanie, so I was obviously headed for masturbation territory.
I rummaged through my purse and found my Foria bottle, thinking my homage to Bill deserved a little extra stimulation. I was a little nervous, because me and weed don't exactly get along. Almost every time I smoke, I shake like I'm a human earthquake and develop the paranoia of Howard Hughs during his fun, "peeing in bottles in a dark room for weeks on end" stage. But, like the sexual pioneer I like to pretend I am, I proceeded, ready to explore new territory.
"Apply 4-8 sprays directly onto the clitoris, inner and outer labia and inside the vagina,” said the instructions. That was do-able. I obliged, and waited the suggested 15-30 minutes for it to do its thing.
Twelve minutes in, I felt the faintest rush of a warming sensation down south. That was nice. But the feeling didn't intensify like I expected it to; instead kind of made an gentle, apologetic appearence and stayed at one level before bowing out like a guy who walks into the ladies' room, but exits with graceful aplomb. The rest of the experience was pretty normal. Although I'd say the Foria made my pussy feel good, as in healthy and well-circulated, it certainly didn't change the landscape of my orgasmic future. At best, I noticed it and it didn't burn.
Round two with the boyfriend was more successful. He put some on the tip of his dick because #YOLO, and I followed the same protocol as the first time, except I used twice as much. He noticed a slight tingling sensation, and I made off with a more flushed, warming feeling than the time before. The increased circulation from the THC didn't make me want to explode, but it ever-so-slightly made sex feel different in a good way.
The coconut oil base had a really nice feel. It was silky and warm and not at all sticky, or goopy, or overly slippery. I'd say it improved things about 10%, which isn't happy-cry worthy, but slightly noticeable. And although it's marketed towards females who have trouble coming and formulated for vaginal absorption, there's no reason why guys can't use it. The boyfriend said he'd masturbate with it, so put that in your knowledge sandwich and eat it.
The third time, I even devised a little experiment to test its arousal potential. I put some on when I wasn't horny, to see if it would magically arouse me. Lo and behold, that seeping, warm sensation popped up, but it didn't make me horny on its own. For that, I needed to watch a little Rushmore or something. This leads me to believe that if you're not already in the mood and mentally open to arousal, it's not gonna do much for you other than make your pussy cozy.
All that being said, I've had much better orgasms without weed lube, and it hasn't occurred to me to use it since. So, for me, it wasn't the marijuana miracle it was advertised as.
However, if you're having trouble coming, I think the stuff is worth a try. People will react differently to the THC, so while it only brought on a mild flush of circulation for me, it might bring a veritable flood of blood and endorphins to you. I've even talked to a few women who absolutely love the stuff. If it were up to me, I'd say they "looooove" it, just to convey the degree of of their satisfaction to you, but my editor would never let me. One of my friends tried it and told me she had the best orgasm of her life while using it, which in my book makes it worth the $88 you have to spend to get it.
So kids, what did we learn today? Get your pussy high, and you might just come everywhere. And if you don't, then there's always meth.