I tried pussy glitter pills to make my cum sparkle

I tried pussy glitter pills to make my cum sparkle

SexOctober 18, 2017 By Olivia Lee

I don’t often shove foreign objects up my vagina, but pussy glitter pills had an allure I couldn’t deny. Although the capsule looked like it was filled with unicorn jizz, inside it I saw all the promise of the sparkly sweet coochie I’d always dreamed of.

Passion Dust Intimacy Capsules, as advertised on their official website, are the first product of their kind. “It is a small sparkleized capsule that dissolves when inserted into the vagina and releases the sweet sparkle that is Passion Dust. Passion Dust creates what we call ‘magicum’ which is essentially a ‘flavored orgasm,’” the site claims. Passion Dust also promotes its vaginal glitter pills on its Instagram page, which is simply tons of sparkly pussy memes.

Passion Dust got a bit of bad publicity after gynecologists warned that putting tiny plastic pieces inside a delicate coochie couldn’t possibly end well. But because I desperately wanted glittery “magicum” to leave a trail of sparkly pussy goo in my panties, I placed an order for a sample of Passion Dust.

The evening my boyfriend and I put the Passion Dust to use quickly devolved into a sticky sparkling mess. It suddenly made sense to me how entire companies like ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com can be so successful. Opening a glitter bomb guarantees that stupid glitter will get everywhere. Days later, I’m still finding shimmery specks on the bed sheets, toilet seat, and in my boyfriend’s beard.

When the Passion Dust first arrived in the mail, it was packaged inside a golden butterfly box. Pull apart the butterfly’s wings, and there’s a silver trinket inside. The trinket is a little toy chest, which immediately broke apart upon opening. Any illusions of this being some high-end novelty sex item are instantly shattered.

Inside the chest is a tiny cocaine-size baggie with a single capsule. On the front of the baggie, a sticker with the Passion Dust logo ensures you haven’t been sold some off-brand pussy glitter. On the back, another sticker reads: “this is a vaginal suppository. DO NOT SWALLOW.” By this logic, the pill is safe inside my pussy, but not inside my digestive tract. I have my doubts about that.

Now, although I’ve mocked this cheap, potentially hazardous sex accessory, I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed tying it into my sex routine. I’m far from a seasoned kinkster, and I’ve never incorporated fancy toys, lubricants, or any other foreign objects into the mix. One plain ol’ penis has always been enough for me.

But the pussy glitter pill provided a fun excuse to fool around. Oral sex became a game of guessing the flavor. We laughed at the mess of glittery ejaculate smeared all over our skin. My pussy felt sticky and his dick looked like a disco ball. In the end, we were sparkling like diamonds, but feeling pretty filthy.

I suppose I see the appeal of “a pretty little pill that makes you ‘magically delicious’.” Sex can be awkward, our naked bodies can make us insecure, and our ejaculate is assumed to be some gross, awful-tasting sludge. Sugary glitter pills promise to turn this whole embarrassing encounter into something safe, lighthearted and cartoonish, where our genitals glisten and taste like Skittles.

It’s an appealing idea, but in all honesty, probably not worth disregarding the warnings of all those worried gynecologists. Your vagina doesn’t need glitter to be beautiful, and it doesn’t need to ooze sugar to taste great.