Oct 11

Person who isn't a 15 year-old girl has 21 Miley Cyrus tattoos

This is not the Tweet of a post-pubescent girl. This is not the muscled, sun-spoiled back of a confusingly-shaped Hannah Montana groupie.

No. This is the Tweet of a 40 year old man. And this is his 21st Miley Cyrus tattoo. 

His latest and greatest tat is also the third time Miley's face has been immortalized on his body. It depicts Miley doing that tongue thing she does.

It's on the side of his torso, which presumably connects to his groin, which presumably connects to his penis. Because he's a man. A man with 21 Miley Cyrus tattoos.

You would never guess, given his manly stature and crew cut, that his body would be covered in Cyrus. But under those middle-aged Dad clothes, lies body art that would be at home on the figure of a 16 year-old female runaway begging for dimes so she can go to Mickey D's. Under those clothes lies Carl McCoid's whole universe: Bangerz and twerking.

This man is Carl McCoid, of Yorkshire, England. He says that Miley Cyrus helped him through his divorce, and he now believes that the "Wrecking Ball" star and him are married. Ahh, true love.

He said: 'I am hoping that Miley’s agent will hear about me via Twitter, and then she will pass the message on to Miley. 'That way I could actually end up meeting up her. If I did, then I would die. I would definitely die.'

Some of his tattoos depict lyrics from Miley's songs from back in her Hannah Montana days. We didn't know her songs had lyrics.

The regal beagle poses next to his unhealthy supply of Miley memorabilia.

Sigh. He obviously "Can't Stop." No. His obsession "Can't Be Tamed." He's gonna need a "Hoedown Throwdown" and a "Wrecking Ball" to get that shit off his body. It's too bad you can't tattoo twerking. Rooster out.