'Watching porn is my full-time job'

'Watching porn is my full-time job'

SexFebruary 13, 2018 By Olivia Lee

After years of pixelated, pop-up-infested fapping experiences, Geoffrey Celen grew tired of sub-par pornography. He decided to curate a collection of the best adult content, eliminating the crap and keeping the cream of the crop. After years of jerking it for the greater good, Celen revealed his life’s work, ThePornDude.com, a highly-meticulous smut-ranking system.

Upon meeting Celen, we came to the astonishing conclusion that he may know more about porn than any other person on Earth. So we sent him a list of our most pressing questions about professional porn-watching, and now share his fascinating insights with fellow erotica-enjoying amateurs who can only dream of someday going pro.

 

What's your job title? I imagine it's something along the lines of "Director of Masturbation Material.”

My job title? Funny question. It might be "life savior" for some, while others call me "porn king". Living the joke aside, most people know me as "The Porn Dude". Even most of my friends use that as my nickname.

 

"How much time do you estimate you've spent watching porn? Hours? Days? Years?!"

If you put together minute after minute of watching porn, I've probably spent years. Imagine how great it is! Would you like you to run around in an ambulance chasing drunk people and gang shootings, or do you prefer watching pornstars doing their best to entertain you? Rhetorical question, I guess!

 

Outside of quality and safety, how do you rank all of the different sites? Based on how much they arouse you? Is it difficult to rate content that doesn't turn you on? Scat play isn't for everyone, after all.

Quality and safety is most important. This is the main purpose of my porn directory. I want to deliver quality adult sites to all people around the world. And, I want them to enjoy porn in a safe environment. None of the websites listed on TPD contain malware, viruses and so on.

Leaving these on the side, let me tell you the other criteria: popularity, activity (regular updates), unique concepts, interesting niches. Yes, it is hard to rate content that doesn't turn me on. And there are many categories that I do not enjoy watching. Like scat, yes. But, not all heroes wear capes. And I am people's hero and I will do what must be done.

 

What's the weirdest porn video you've ever seen? Is there anything in the porn world that still surprises you?

Hard to tell. I've seen so much. Well, I can tell you one! Without any doubt, the weirdest most disturbing clip I've ever seen is the one where the guy is inserting a glass jar in his ass, which will, eventually, break inside. You can imagine the bloody mess afterward. I think you can look it up under "one man, one jar" in google, but be warned! I highly suggest that you pay a visit to eFukt for more weird porn!

 

Are premium porn sites worth the money?

I assume you've never bought a premium membership, since the difference with free porn videos on a site like pornhub is tremendous. All the videos can be seen in crystal clear 4K HD quality, full length and without the chance of being infected with malware. I assure you that you won't want to go back to seeing blurry porn videos for free.

 

What is hentai, and why is it so popular all of the sudden?

Hentai doesn't have the limitations that real porn has. Anything that you can imagine can come to life in the drawn porn scenes. Yeah, it is also popular in western society these days, while it only used to be popular in Japan. I am not sure why, but indeed, in the last years, this genre embraced more and more popularity, certainly among millenials. You may call me oldschool, but I prefer porn with real women!

 

Do the nationality-specific (Arab, Black, Indian, Latina) porn videos feature a lot of stereotypes? (ie. Latina women yelling "papi" or Indian women's pussies tasting like curry)

Yes, it is true and people also search for this, when I check the search terms on ThePornDude! These nationality-specific porn videos have some characteristics that the end-user wants to see. As for Indian women tasting like curry, unless you spice it up with it yourself, they'll taste like tuna, just like every other pussy in the world.

 

I had no idea that porn video games existed until Porn Dude opened my eyes. How do porn video games work and what makes a great one?

The video game industry has exploded over the past 10 years, so it was only a matter of time, before some genius would try to mix porn in it. In some games, you're able to create your own character, interact and fuck other people in a virtual 3D world. Other games are just like mainstream games, but they have included a lot more nudity. Think of puzzles like candy crush, role playing games, dating sims and much more. I suggest checking out the Nutaku platform that can offer you the biggest variety in porn games!

 

Do you take pride in getting a lot of unsolicited nudes? Aren't they ever an unpleasant surprise?

Unlike girls who hate surprise dick pics, it's the total opposite for guys. Wouldn't it make your day, if you open your email box in the morning and you find a bunch of fan emails with nudes? It doesn't make my girlfriend happy, but it certainly puts a smile on my face! Anyways, I am ThePornDude! It's natural to get unsolicited nudes. Since Hugh Hefner is gone, I rule the porn world and the notion of sex. Soon, the Oxford Dictionary will add my photo next to the definition of "sex". And on that day, people will vote me for president.