Local drunks explain how to treat hangovers after a night of being white girl wasted

Local drunks explain how to treat hangovers after a night of being white girl wasted

CultureDecember 11, 2015 By Brian Frederick

We ask: "How do you cure those self-inflicted body wounds?"

 

“Pedialyte and BC powder. BC powder is this packet of aspirin and caffeine that you sorta sprinkle into your mouth. They taste awful, but the combination will obliterate whatever ails you.”
- Katie Cochrane // Brewer, Great Divide Brewing Co.

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“I sulk in a dehydrated misery until I have the functionality to eat the greasiest food that I can come in contact with. A McDonald's hash brown or seven tends to do the trick. My most effective method to chase away the hangover though is to start right back up and cycle away the misery with another blackout until it begins all over again the next day.”
Input // Hip-hop emcee

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“Two theories: 1) bacon and more tequila, or 2) sex, water and sleep.”
- Brian Barker // Manager, Shotgun Willie’s

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“Definitely some vitamin G (grease!), preferably the pork tenderloin and eggs from Fran’s Café on 38th and a couple of Smartwaters.”
- Pete Turner // Owner, Illegal Pete’s

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“If I'm feeling a little queasy, I'll puff down some Haze or Diesel for puke prevention, otherwise I'm going for a couch-locking indica, like Grape Ape. Either way, I'm going to crush a breakfast burrito the size of my forearm. Extra bacon, extra crispy.”
- Jake Browne // Comedian, Uncalled Four

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"I don't drink anymore, but I sufficiently put the city out of gin and grapefruit juice at every bar I patronized this summer. Sleep, food and then more sleep in that order. Plenty of water by nightfall and you should be good by the following day."
- Ru Johnson // Lead Executioner, Roux Black

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Hangover Cures Heard ‘Round The World

We all have next mornings ...

Korea // Pear Juice:

Recent Australian research shows that drinking just 7 oz. of Korean pear juice (sometimes called “Asian Pears”) before a rough night all but annihilates hangover symptoms. The trick is to drink the juice before turning up at night, as the process works while you booze. When it does, the pear juice reduces levels of blood acetaldehyde, a toxin known to be the bane of any drinker’s regretful existence.

Japan // Clam Soup:

One thing clams are known to do is enhance liver function. So why not drink the sap of 70? From the company Nagatanien, the clam miso soup in a can contains a silly amount of clam juice, which contains ornithine, an amino acid that detoxes harmful substances from the body. The can even hosts a happy image of a man holding a beer, with words roughly translated as saying, “For the alcohol-loving you.”

Mongolia // Sheep Eyes:

It’s a long-standing tradition here in the states to visit a Bloody Mary bar after getting down with your weekend alter ego, but the custom is practiced elsewhere too. Except in Mongolia, where it’s lovingly referred to as the “Mongolian Mary,” the glass of tomato juice (which aids in water replenishment and fights inflammation with its high levels of lycopene) is garnished with two pickled sheep’s eyeballs for whatever reason. NOPE, thanks.

Rando Fact:

According to the Center for Disease Control, the loss of productivity from hungover Americans costs the economy a whopping $249 billion.