Rooster Exclusive: Q&A with porno star Jonny the Monkey — “#1 most popular celebrity in all Kazakhstan,” and close friend of Borat

Rooster Exclusive: Q&A with porno star Jonny the Monkey — “#1 most popular celebrity in all Kazakhstan,” and close friend of Borat

CultureOctober 23, 2020 By Will Brendza

When I sent an email to Jonny the Monkey a few weeks ago I didn’t really know what to expect.

I’d heard about Sacha Baron Cohen's newest movie, "Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" (which is streaming now on Amazon). Supposedly several political figures appear in the film without their knowledge (namely Rudy Giuliani) who end up in some particularly uncomfortable and "hands-on" situations.

Which isn't really surprising. After all, the premise of the movie, is that Borat is attempting to give Michael Pence his 15-year-old daughter as a political gift. However, originally the film’s full title was “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Gift of Pornographic Monkey to Vice President Mikhael Pence to Make Benefit Recently Diminished Nation of Kazakhstan”...

Pornographic monkey? That sounded familiar for some reason. And soon I remembered why — in the first Borat film, Borat boasts of being the #4 most famous celebrity in all of Khazakstan, referencing Jonny the Monkey, a porno star and beloved primate actor, as being #1.

Well, a quick Google search led me to the official website of Jonny the Monkey. At the bottom of which, below the picture of his celebrity lookalike, Ariel Sharons the “King of the Jews,” and below the cold opener for Saturday night live, featuring Borat, Jonny and his gypsy assistant, Batyr, I found an email address.

Curious as to whether Jonny knew anything about the new Borat film, I decided, what the hell? I shot him an interview request and promptly forgot about it. That was, until yesterday, much to my surprise and excitement, the day before the new Borat Subsequent Moviefilm was set to release, when I got a reply.

And it was from Jonny himself.

“Jagshemash Bill. It is finally Jonnys turn to use Kazakhstans computer and see you send you emailings. Very nice!

Sorry for late to write back. If you still want to send Jonny some Qs , he will send you back some As.

But if you write article about Jonny it must not be fake news or he will crush you.”

Naturally, as a journalist, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to interview such a high profile celebrity. Especially so close to the release date of a new film he seems to be on the periphery of. So I sent Jonny a handful of questions — and his responses were everything you'd expect from a porno primate dictating responses to his gypsy typing assisstant. 

(Note: I want to avoid being crushed by Jonny at all costs — I don't even know what that would entail. So, instead of a typical article, I've posted Jonny's answers verbatim.)


What's a day in the life of Jonny the Monkey like? Walk us through your schedule...
Every day is different for Jonny. It is normal for him to be at home in Asatana Zoo in Kazakhstan where he do meets and greets. You can also buy autograph for 5 million tenge or one can of Pepsi Max.

If he not working that day, Jonny often go to highest balcony in the city to shoot dog or throw potato into Jew Town. But any time Jonny leave Astana Zoo, he must wear disguise because Kazak paparazzi always chasing Jonny to try and sketch him in their notebooks.

There are rumors that you make a star cameo in the new Borat Subsequent Moviefilm — can you tell us about that?
He has not seen final circumcision of this moviefilm yet so cannot say for sure, but since Jonny was turgid through entire filming (why not? I am supposed to have rigamortises!) it is possible he will be replaced in scenes by stunt monkey, Bobo.. You will have to wait until tomorrow to find out for sure.

Do you know Borat well? What are your thoughts on his new documentary?
Of course, since Jonny the monkey is #1 most famoos celebrity in all of Kazakhstan and Borat is #4, we always hanging it out together. Sometimes we do this with #2 and #3 most famous - Premier Nazarbayev and ex-Olympic gymnast Lily Utmarkan, who now perform in Kazakh State Circus.

This documentary about US and A is very nice. It feature disco dance, Borat daughter's antipants, and also very funny scene with vice-premiere Michael Penic.

Any other insights about the Subsequent Moviefilm you can share? Other prominent figures besides Giuliani that should be nervous for the release?
Yas. There will be x-rate version of this documentary that feature Jonny having sexytimes in all his glory whole. Jonny have great stamina so it will come on TWO vhs tape, just like moviefilm "Titanic" that star Leonardo DaVinci.

* I am not sure we call Mr. Giuliani's figure "prominent" after see down his antipants. You will have to decide.

How often do people try to offer you up as a political gift?
This is only time Jonny can remember.

Have you ever considered a career in politics yourself?
Jonny was recent made Kazakhstan’s minister of culture because of work with being host of children's favorite televiski show, plus star of Transibiersky Ekspress and many other pornos.

What keeps you going/where do you find creative inspiration?
Jonny relax by playing game "Call of Doody" with childrens who visit him at Astana Zoo. When they throw potato at him he throw back poop, fresh from anoos. It is very inspiring!

Anything else you want to add...
Jonny very much enjoy the training moviefilms "Planets of the Ape" and look forward to day when all monkeys conquer world by ride horse, shoot rifle, and throw net.

Especially like ones that star NRA man who try to warn peoples about this - tough guy actor Charlatan Hestons. He is dead now. Jonny did not kill him.

 

A few minutes later and Jonny followed up his response email, adding one more thing.
 

Jonny forget to be sure you know title of x-rate version of Borat documentary that he have bigger role in...

It will be name "Borat: Gift of Pornographic Monkey to Vice President Mikhael Pence to Make Benefit Recently Diminished Nation of Kazakhstan.”

Also scoop for you that maybe people will see Jonny in something new in year 2021. If we are all still alive by then.


Chenquieh.
 

What exactly Jonny means by that last bit about having something new in 2021 is particularly interesting, but very vauge. Will Jonny the Monkey be releasing a new porno in the coming months? There’s no saying for sure, but it sounds like there’s a good reason for all the Jonny the Monkey fans out there to stay hopeful.

Below, check out jonny's appearance on Satuday Night Live with his good friend Borat way back in 2006...