Stupidity Index: Wake Us Up When November Ends

Stupidity Index: Wake Us Up When November Ends

Just when we thought they couldn't get any dumber ...

CultureNovember 21, 2020

Parents drinking and smoking in the background of their kids Zoom schooling

Florida school officials are alarmed at the number of parents caught in the background of their kid’s at-home Zoom classes smoking weed and drinking beer. “Sometimes the joints are as big as cigars,” says Boca Raton Elementary School teacher Edith Pride. “This is a school, not a party.” If there’s one thing to learn from all of this, it’s that Florida teachers don’t know the difference between a joint and a blunt. 


“There are only two industries that call their customers ‘users’: illegal drugs and software.”

Edward Tufte, the famed American statistician, on the tech industry. TL;DR, did anyone like our new Instagram post?

 

$1,100,000

The amount of dollars a man is suing McDonald’s for after finding a bone in his “boneless” chicken nuggets claiming he suffered unbearable jaw pain and required extensive dental work. We know litigiousness is the America Dream, but just be happy there is a sign the chicken is actually chicken and not pink sludge.

 

“Someone said to me the other day, ‘you’re the most famous person in the world’ and I said, no I’m not … they said, ‘then who is?’ and I said, Jesus Christ.”

POTUS Donald Trump at a campaign rally in Greensboro, North Carolina humbly conceding the world's most famous title to the one and only JC. As to why this qualifies him to be President for another four years is beyond us and the dumb dumbs who cheered this story.

 

Man Jailed for putting semen in coworkers water bottle

30-year-old Steven Millancastro was sentenced to two and a half years for battery with a sexual purpose after he retaliated against a coworker’s complaints regarding his “uncomfortable” behavior by putting his semen in her half-drank water bottle, the honey jar on her desk and smearing it on her keyboard. Talk about some seedy tactics; his sentencing must really take a load off of her. 

 

$128,000

The price cosmetics company Estee Lauder will pay Nasa to send 10 bottles of its “advanced night repair” serum to the international space station for a photo shoot. That’s one small step for man, one giant leap toward making use of NASA.