20-ish things to do while you're stuck inside saving the world
Celebrities Doing Stuff
From Frozen’s Josh Gad reading books to kids or Coldplay performing live from their living rooms, the Internet is now chock full of exclusive ways to pass the time. Most celebrities, if not all, will be pushing some sort of boredom-killing entertainment via Twitter or other social media outlets. After all, they’re bored AF too.
Cirque du Soleil Full Shows
Shhh, the multi-billion dollar company might not want us to tell you this right now, but screw it. A bunch of the high-flying, mega-athlete-driven performances have been bootlegged and are uploaded on the ‘net to peruse for your liking. And with some clocking close to two hours, only a few hundred thousand to go!
At some point you’ll have ran through Netflix, Disney+ and Hulu’s entire catalog looking for something else to watch (in that order). BroadwayHD offers a free trial with hundreds of performances uploaded already with chatter of bringing live viewings direct to your living room. Sweet deal!
Home Safari Facebook Live
Whatever brilliant mind over in Ohio that runs the Cincinnati Zoo’s social media needs a medal of some sort. Garnering a HUGE response is its “Home Safari” series, an interactive zoo viewing and animal lesson plan through Facebook Live. It’s meant for kids home from school and adults alike.
Virtual Museum Tours
Pre-virus we got so wrapped up in what the contestants of Big Brother were doing we almost forgot entirely that there’s actual culture out there. And wouldn’t you have guessed, Google has virtual tours available to see it all! Give it a shot, it’s actually really, really cool (stoned).
Bust Out Calisthenics
Bummed about the gym being closed, bro? Don’t worry, those dogshit companies will probably still charge you anyway. Right now though, you gotta get inmate creative. Like with calisthenics, exercises that use your own body weight for maximum gains! Easy to do in a limited 10x10 space without equipment.
Workout Classes, Free
Need to put the “social” in your workout? Right now Peloton (the infamous “bike to nowhere” brand) is offering a free 90-day trial of its digital app. It includes yoga, high intensity training workouts, stretching, running, strength training and a host of other activities — both live and prerecorded. We gonna come out of this thing sexy AF y’all!
Food on the Cheap
As of press time most companies are still working out how to manage the crisis internally. However, most restaurants that aren’t allowed to have dine-in guests are offering some sort of discount on to-go orders. The DoorDashes and Uber Eats of the world may be a lifeline for some. Keep your eyes peeled for updates … and tip your drivers like they wear a cape.
Hook Up The Elderly
You might not know your neighbors, but you should. Statistically, many of them need an extra hand. And you don’t have to come in contact with them, just knock on the door and tell them you’ll mow or weed the yard. Wash the outside windows. Shoot the squirrels eating their strawberries. Anything. Everything.
Go outside dot com.
Grow Food, You Fool
Those side-eyed Doomsday Preppers on Netflix aren’t looking so silly right now, are they? Yet with all this time on your hands, maybe you could become a little more self-sufficient like them, too? April is the perfect time to start outdoor veggie plants inside with seed starters. Whether you grow one tomato or one thousand … it’s still pronounced “to-may-toe” just so we’re clear.
Make no mistake, the breweries and bars are hurting right now with city ordinances banning people from hanging out. This, my friends, is where we shine. Be sure to support your favorite locals by ordering out when you can. Some breweries that took care of us before are now offering cans or crowlers to go! We’re bored, not dead!
Support your favorite spots.
Virtual Happy Hour
What might have sounded stupid in February has become more of a thing than anyone would have expected. People everywhere are hosting “Virtual Happy Hours” — essentially, drinking with friends over video conferencing services. Zoom seems to be the preferred hookup. And hey, no driving!
Sofa King Fest 2020
With all the artists out of gigs for the foreseeable future, many have jumped online to entertain the masses. That’s where Sofa King Fest came in last month — a type of virtual TV Guide listing that tries to place all the “shows” available and where to find them. There’s also something called The Social Distancing Festival in early stages too. This might actually get fun.
If we haven’t pimped out our office playlist enough these past few months, HERE’S MORE! Our Rooster Office Playlist has kept us sane for many months past and will continue to for many more future. We’ll be adding to it through the suck to keep everyone in the know. Or at least the intern will. They still need to come in. No excuses.
Ahhhh yeah, the sweet serenity of relaxation. And after the past several years suffering through the go-go-go lifestyle, this may be what we all need to take a few steps back to center the madness. YouTube offers a bunch of videos, sure, but so does the Calm, Headspace and Aura apps. SERENITY NOW!
RANDOM THING TO DO
Did You Know?
Most ceiling fans come equipped with a switch that changes the direction the blades turn. When warmer temps prevail, the blades should be moving counterclockwise so that the air is pushed down instead of being sucked up (clockwise in the winter). Getting in this habit can save you up to 30 percent on your energy bill! Thirty percent!
APRIL BUCKET LIST
Everything. Literally everything.
We’ve got a lot of time to kill.
“My Dad Wrote a Porno” Podcast
Mini Toothpick Crossbow
Tiramisu Oreo Cookies
Available everywhere April 1
Cash Cats of Instagram