Airbus patents design for convertible airplane, crushes hope for those with a fear of flying

Airbus patents design for convertible airplane, crushes hope for those with a fear of flying

PoliticsDecember 21, 2015

For all of the individuals finally discovering a way to cope with the their debilitating fear of flying in a giant steel bus, we have bad news for you, Airbus is about to crush your hope of every flying peacefully again. 

Newly filed patents to the United States Patent and Trademark office from Airbus show a design for an airplane’s cabin to detach from the rest of the body of the plane. You’re probably asking yourself why in God’s name would you want the body of the airplane to detach? Well, according to Airbus, this detachable cabin would speed up loading times. When the plane arrives, one cabin would already be loaded and ready for attachment while the cabin that just arrived is detached and the people can deboard the airplane. In an industry where timing is money, this design would save a great deal of time during the boarding process. Hooray Money!

Fuck that. We’re not sure about the rest of the consumer base in the world but if dealing with longer wait times to load and unload the cattle means we don’t have to be concerned with our plane detaching midflight, then we’ll stick with the pre-boarding scammers and sport-jersey toting mid-westerners in the never-ending line to hell. At least we know our plane is still intact.