Best friends recall the weirdest, most awkward ways they met
We don't know about you, but sometimes it feels like the best relationships in our lives have the best origin stories.
For example, the first time we met our mom, we were coming out of her vagina. That's a pretty great origin story.
That's why we've combed the swampy cesspool that is Reddit to see whether other people are have made fantastic friends under fantastic circumstances, or it was just us. Turns out, most people on the Internet met their best friends in some sort of newsworthy situation and lived to tell the tale, the best of which we've selected for your esteemed enjoyment.
Here are some of of weirdest, best way people have found their non-sexual soul mates:
1. Bitchy Human Volcano
"There was this girl in my high school gym class who I hated. Always showing off for boys and shit. Turns out, my friend was dating her. One night, he calls me at 2 a.m. telling me she's wasted and needs a place to stay. He's around the corner. I thought about it for a second ... then said okay. I had to sneak her wasted ass into my parent's house while they were sleeping (I was 15). She vomited all over the floor and I was about to kick her out, but then she did this amazing thing ... she snapped to attention, said 'That's my volcano impression,' then proceeded to clean up her own vomit, spotlessly and with vigor. I went to bed, and went to check on her in the morning ... turns out she was fucking hilarious. We've been best friends ever since."
2. Anonymous Dick Model
"I was working at this skate shop. One day, I got an envelop in the mail addressed to the shop. I opened it, and there was just a giant, glossy photo of someone's dick. 'What the fuck is this?' I thought, holding the picture with this bewildered expression on my face. Suddenly, my co-worker who I had never really spoken with, slyly tapped me on the shoulder, grinning. It was his. We burst out laughing and he's been my best friend for almost 20 years."
3. Friendship Death Match
"I got in a fight with a kid in high school. Not like a bullshit, one punch and done fight ... we went absolutely apeshit on each other. Both of us were pretty fucked up afterwards. We got sent to the principal's office, he brought us in, sat us down and said 'You know what, I know why you guys fought. I'm going to leave you in here until you talk it out like adults.'"
We talked it out, became best friends. We're still friends 10 years later."
4. Another Reason Boobs Are Great
"Freshman year of high school I accidentally punched a girl in the boob.
That was about 7 years ago.
We're getting married this summer."
5. He Stood Out In the Crowd
"Met one of my best guy friends at/during a gang bang."
6. Typical Running Through the Woods Story
"We were both running through the woods at a music festival tripping on acid and ran up to each other from opposite directions mistaking each other for someone else we thought was a friend. We became really good buddies that second and started quoting Tim and Eric and are to this day super bros."
7. I'd Like to Report a Crime ... Committed By Me
"I caught a guy breaking into my new truck and flat knocked him out then when he came to. I marched him into my house and proceeded to make him call the cops on himself! Cops loved that one... anyway like 6 years later I'm telling this story to some guys at work and mentioned his name and they said that guy just started working here yesterday. So since I was a supervisor I decided to harass him a bit before I told him who I was. We've been good friends for probably 15 years at this point, we still laugh about it and he credits me for keeping him out of prison. Straightened him out!"
8. The Only Time a Kidnapping Has Ever Been Positive
"I got kidnapped (by friends), wrapped in a gift box, and given to someone I didn't know as a Christmas present. Turns out, we really liked each other."
9. Peeing Blood
"A guy walked up to me and told me I was in his seat. I casually told him to fuck off and he punched me in the kidney. I pissed blood that day, sealing our eternal friendship."
10. Impressive Cheese Consumption Qualifies Area Woman For Friendship
"My friends and I walk into the break room at work and see this edgy/cool looking girl straight up taking bites off a 2 lb. block of cheese. I walk up to her and ask her if she smokes (cigarettes), she said no, I told her she needs to start because she's one of the cool kids now. Best friends forever."
11. Sexually Active Bored Teenagers
"When I was 15, I was with some friends hanging out at Starbucks, as you do when you're 15 and have no place to go. Suddenly, another group of 15-17 year-olds walks in and sits down, doing the same thing we are. I lock eyes with one of the boys in the group and we just stare at each other, obviously suffering under the spell of some sudden, unbreakable attraction. He was wearing a leather fetish hat and a leather jacket, like some teenage Judas Priest. Our respective groups start talking and combining and we all go outside, where this guy and I just start wordlessly making out. We're going at it and all our friends are just staring at us, aghast. We pull away and introduce ourselves, and proceed to make fun of each other for it this day. He was a fucking terrible kisser."
I started a new job and she had only worked there a couple of days. Our boss, Elaine, sat us together.
Her: Hi, how are you?
Me: Pretty good, thanks.
Her: What do you think of Elaine?
Me: I think she's a fucking idiot.
Her: We're going to be friends.