Blame your penis problems on your mom says a new study that's changed our lives
How's your penis? Go ahead and check down there. Is there anything wrong with it? If there is, well, just know that it's your mom's fault, not yours.
A new study from the Czech Republic finds that there's a connection between the quality of your relationship with your mother and dick health ... and therefore sexual performance.
Researchers discovered this by giving 960 "coitally experienced" Czech guys a survey that had two glaringly awkward questions on it.
Question 1: How would you rate your relationship with your mother? '
Question 2: How's your erection?
Men who reported mom issues were more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE) than the momma's boys who often refered to their mothers as "God's gift to the planet." The researchers weren't really sure why, which is probably a good thing for our mental health, but they said it might be because of "some enduring conflict regarding sexuality and/or intimacy." Yep ... that fight you had with your mom over pepperoni vs. cheese pizza rolls back in '99 really did a number on your penis.
The study also found that ED and PE often go hand in hand. Most men who suffer from one, suffer from both, so that's two counts against you, Mother! One possible reason: A man who has trouble getting hard might come more quickly because he's worried he might lose his boner otherwise.
Anyway, mom, give us some money!