Realistic sex dreams are easy and here's how to have more of them

Realistic sex dreams are easy and here's how to have more of them

SexJuly 13, 2018 By Isabelle Kohn

We all have unattainable sexual fantasies that could never logically occur. Whether it's getting a blowjob from a Pegasus with boobs, being made sweet love to by the Aerosmith bassist while floating in a opalescent astral plane, or getting back together with your now-married-with-stupid-children ex — it's just not gonna happen.

So, what can you do? Well, according to the Internet, if you can dream it, you can do it with a little technique called lucid dreaming.

Lucid dreams occur when you become aware of yourself while dreaming. You know you're in la-la land, and you can sometimes even control what happens do you while you're under the spell of R.E.M. The sleep cycle, not the band.

And according to the Internet's resident lucid dreaming authority, World-Of-Lucid-Dreaming.com, lucid dream sex is often the #1 reason that motivates people to learn to control their dreams.

"If you have that [sexual] interest, you can go that way and have a profound experience," author Robert Waggoner says. "Because in a lucid dream state, many physical senses are similar to those of real life and physical reality. Your sense of touch is similar if not higher; your visual sense is acute. So when you have those two senses empowered, the sexual experience can be amazing."

Lucid sex dreams are relatively common area of research where scientists have been trying to study how some people are able to unconsciously manipulate their dreams for their own advantages. And since people are horny as fuck all the time, it's no surprise that lucid sex dreams and the people who have them have become hot topics of research. In a 1983 study, one subject was so good at lucid boning that once she became lucidly aware, she would signal to researchers by making specific eye movements when she was dreaming, when she began erotic activity in the dream and when she had an orgasm.

"The wonderful thing that these studies did, while also showing what the brain looks like in the lucid dream state, was confirm what lucid dreamers have been talking about all along: They are aware of being in the dream state, they can decide their actions, and they have a sense of bringing their goals or intents forward to explore the lucid dream state," Waggoner says.

According to data from 1988, most people will have at least one lucid dream in their lifetimes, but only about 20 percent do it monthly or more.

"I would say three out of four people can [lucid dream]," says Waggoner reflecting on his experiences (which may be skewed, since he works with people who are open to the practice). "But to be a good and frequent lucid dreamer, you have to be dedicated."

Yep, the unfortunate news about lucid sex dreaming is that, like most good things in life, you have to work hard at it. Good thing there is veritable universe online dedicated solely to the practice of teaching people to having crazy fucking dream sex.

On the World of Lucid Dreaming website, there's an entire section devoted to learning how to bone in lucid dreams, summarized below.

First, before you start having dream sex, learn the basics of lucid dreaming.

Tip 1 : Keep a dream journal

Each morning, write down your dreams and every single detail you remember before you work up. This'll help you identify patterns in your dreams so you can better realize when you're dreaming. Look for things that appear regularly, and try to write them down. After a while, you'll notice that writing your dreams down helps you recall them more easily and intensely.

Tip 2: Boost your acetylcholine levels

Acetylcholine-boosting supplements reveal an interesting side effect: vivid, often lucid dreams because it's responsible for regulating REM sleep. The higher your acetylcholine levels, the more persistent and broad the REM cycle becomes.

Tip 3: Boost your Melatonin levels

Melatonin regulates our sleep-wake cycle and links information about our environment to different parts of our bodies. High melatonin levels positively effect the quality of our dreams and influence the success of lucid dreaming. You can increase your melatonin by sleeping in complete darkness and going to sleep and waking at the same time every day.

Tip 4: Meditate before going to sleep

There is an important link between meditation and lucid dreaming; both involve altered states of consciousness in which you're self-aware, but on a different plane than you are when you're alert and awake. Learning to familiarize yourself with the sensation and process of meditation will help you acclimate to lucid dreaming.

Tip 5: Tell yourself to remember your dreams before going to sleep

Tell yourself clearly that you want to dream; you want to be aware that you are dreaming and you want to remember it. Repeat like a mantra before going to sleep, “I will lucid dream tonight”. You instruct your brain to realize when you’re dreaming, especially during the pre-sleep phase.

Tip 6: Do reality checks

Reality checks are related to activities that you can only perform in real life. The most common reality check is trying to pinch yourself while dreaming. When you pinch yourself while dreaming you feel no pain. You can also put your finger through the palm of your opposite hand. If you can it means that you’re dreaming.

Reality checks also help you engage your conscious brain while you're in a dream state, which in turn helps you with the kind of mental control you need to set up and execute a sexual situation.

Other reality checks to do in your dreams include doing simple math, falling backward, looking at your hands or rubbing them together, spinning around, jumping up and down, or any other simple mental or physical task that creates an association between your conscious mind and your dream body.

Tip 7: Set your alarm half an hour earlier than normal

Set your alarm a bit earlier than you need to, so you can go back to sleep because you more likely to interrupt the REM phase of sleep when you wake up again and remember your dream.

Tip 8: Stay calm

Once you realize you're dreaming and aware of it, it can be so jarring or thrilling that you wake yourself up. So, when you gain awareness in a lucid state, train yourself to stay calm, as if it was expected. Imagine that the dream world you're in was there the whole time and it's been waiting for you to arrive. Since you're lucid, you can also remind yourself you can wake yourself up if shit gets the fan and the person you start banging turns into a flaming trash pile too.

Then, use those techniques to have crazy lucid sex dreams.

We're gonna let Rebecca Turner of the World of Lucid Dreaming website take this one ...

"It's not all that easy to initiate sex in a lucid dream, and that's because our unconscious dreaming mind often has a different agenda.

For instance, it's quite common to become self aware in a dream and go in search of a sexual partner - only to find your Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johansson has transformed into an ugly, withered being.

Other times, you can lock-on to your ideal sexual partner, or use your skills to morph them into someone more attractive, but then find they are completely disinterested in you. They may look straight through you, or walk away entirely.

Remember that many dream figures are often unconscious projections of your own psyche and, naturally, their mission may not be to find intimacy with you. Other dream figures seem to be mere autonomous agents who have no drive or agenda.

But ultimately, you can have a lot more lucid dreaming sex if you identify what motivates the dream figure. Rather than treating them as a sexual object, talk to them and offer a shared intimate experience.

In fact, it's a good idea to cultivate healthy interactions with lucid dream figures in general. More often than not, they are meaningful representations of your inner self and they deserve to be treated with respect.

If you go around abusing dream figures, be prepared to be sorely disappointed when, at any moment, they have the ability to turn your sexy dream into a lucid nightmare.

The problem many beginners find is that it's difficult to hold onto conscious lucidity until the critical moment. Sexual lucid dreams are highly arousing and beginners often wake up before the experience has really got going.

In this way, lucid dreaming sex isn't ideal for beginners. You'd do far better to learn the ropes of dream control and understand how to stabilize your dream so that when exciting things do happen, you don't accidentally wake up."

Basically, treat your dream sex partners with the same respect you would your waking life partners. Because although your brain developed the people and creatures you'll be boning, they're often equipped with their own personalities, beliefs and agendas that mirror a part of your own psyche, yet exist as separate entities from yourself. So, as long as you keep their needs in mind as well as your own, you should be able to carry out the completely unattainable alien orgy of your dreams, in your actual dreams.

[cover photo via Shutterstock // originally published May 25, 2017]