Nederland's Club Ned will be the only cannabis cafe in Colorado. Party on, Wayne.

Nederland's Club Ned will be the only cannabis cafe in Colorado. Party on, Wayne.

VicesMarch 08, 2014

You can smoke weed anywhere in Colorado as long as no one sees you ... but Nederland's Club Ned will be the only place you can smoke weed where everyone can see you. Everyone's gonna know you're high, man.

The cannabis cafe is the only one of its kind in the square state, and will be a private club where members can go to toke up in the presence of their peers.

And here's why Club Ned is a sparkly marijuana miracle: While Amendment 64 made it legal to smoke weed in general, it's still illegal here to smoke in public and in dispensaries. And, Colorado's Clean Indoor Air Act makes it illegal to smoke indoors. But somehow, thanks to the ganja gods, Club Ned has managed to skirt these regulations while staying with the confines of the law. Because you know what they say: some laws are made to be broken, and bent to allow some stoners to get all sorts of high while some other stoners stare at them and mutter Bob Marley lyrics.

In order to allow smoking indoors, Club Ned had to become a private club with various restrictions. For example, it could only hire a small number of workers, had to make a certain percentage of their revenue from membership dues, and the business needed to be BYOC — bring your own cannabis. So it's not a dispensary, but we're crossing our fingers there'll be munchies for sale.

Club Ned owner Cheryl Fanelli said she wanted to open the weed cafe because "People like to socialize, people like to get together. It's the reason bars are in existence. It's way cheaper to drink at home, but humans are sociable creatures." And plus, according to Nederland mayor Joe Gierlach, opening up weed cafes prevents forest fires. "You don't want people on Main Street in Nederland smoking weed, or going into the woods and burning the forest down," he said in a moment of logic and clarity that we're sure will save a thousand forest trees.

Club Ned is set to open in a few weeks, so until then, let's all practice our high poker faces and anti-paranoia dances together.