Porn star swears by the masturbation diet. Who are we to argue?

Porn star swears by the masturbation diet. Who are we to argue?

VicesMay 29, 2013

In the era of diets, South Beach and Atkins dominate headlines with their extreme measures of dedication that frankly, we aren't willing to take. While we're fans of the all-booze-no-food diet, it tends to conflict with our productivity schedule and thus falls into our other diet of everything in moderation. But there's a new diet on the market that's grabbed our attention and given us hope that dieting can be an exciting and painless effort that requires very little exertion.   

Popular porn star Kayden Kross admitted on her blog that she has a steady diet that's fun and effective. Her diet? Daily masturbation. Yes, the practice you most likely perform on a daily basis can help you shed pounds as well. And who would know better than the star of hundreds of best-selling porn videos whose slim physique has earned her a top spot on many guys' reasons-to-live lists? 

Her argument essentially says that masturbation acts as a dietary suppressant. Who are we to argue? 

“Orgasms are great for dopamine and serotonin too, and they have a lot to do with the reward systems of the brain too, and they’re like a zero on the weight watchers scale,” she writes on her official blog Unkrossed adjacent to an ad for the Fleshlight. 

That sounds like enough scientific evidence for us. But if you need more, a recent 28-year-old man from Japan who goes by the name Yuichi Ito, said he swears by the diet and in fact, he lost 9 pound in two months by monitoring his diet and continuing a steady routine of buffing the banana up to at least five times a day. 

“I read online that pleasuring oneself was the same as running 200 meters,” said Yuichi in between dieting sessions. 

Again, that's all the scientific proof we need.  

Unfortunately, nutritionists and dietitians chimed in, and as usual, dropped a cold wet blanket on our daily habit. According to a doctor on the erotic site Nikkan Spa, "“The issue with the effectiveness of this diet is that while you are exhausting your body, you are not consuming calories by using physical strength.”

We like Kayden Kross' medical explanation better. Now, back to dieting.